I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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