I feel great
I just peed on a car
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
