I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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