He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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