Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
