I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
