ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
