Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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