Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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