I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
