I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Please, let me fuck your mom
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
