all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
