Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
