just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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