We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
