Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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