I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
this is an emotional support booty call
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
