allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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