I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
