I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
