if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
