So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
