Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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