I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
