What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
