apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My penis needs a shock collar
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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