ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
did i walk over a car last night?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
