Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm getting married
To pizza
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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