are you still at the devil's house?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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