dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
