singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
