My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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