Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
