So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
