we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
