I must be too annoying 4 u.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
