Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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