working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
