haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
