It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
