that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
