If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
