what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
