Plan B is the new Plan A
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
