yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
