I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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