I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
