'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
