Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
