it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
only if we run a train.
done.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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